I do not remember exactly when it began. Sometime around Christmas time last year, I noticed some peculiarities in Charlie’s physical development. She held her hands fisted past the point she should have, she rarely moved on her own, she was unable to hold up her head, she was not strong enough to hold a toy such as a small rattle, and she was rigid even when sleeping.
I remember the sinking feeling I had. It was then that I knew she was not going to be one of those super preemies that caught up by two.
I was frustrated that doctors were hesitant to talk about what was happening with her. I was desperate to talk about it because I knew we could help her and minimize the complications if we acted early rather than “wait and see”. I remember the anger I felt that no one from the NICU warned me that there was a possibility of anything other than her catching up by two. I was saddened as our hopes of leaving preemie life behind were dashed.
That was then and this is now.
I’m grateful for the doctors, the therapist, and the home health nurse that listened to my concerns and helped me find answers. I am glad we discussed the tough questions, devised a plan, and followed through with a course of therapy. While Charlie continues to be delayed, this year I have hope that she may “catch up” someday and find comfort in the knowledge we are trying our best to help her. She has already made incredible progress.
I don’t know how it is going to play out for Charlie but I believe that no matter what happens all will be well.
Charlie got a doll for Christmas.