Over a year has passed since Charlie has come home the NICU. Despite the passage of time, I continue to have unusual thoughts or habits. For example, I know it is weird that:
- I have a warm loving feeling when I see bililights. They remind me of the first time I met my baby.
- I can convert from milliliters to ounces, kilograms to pounds, and vice versa very quickly in my head. Often, I find myself doing it needlessly anywhere weights and measures are frequently used.
- I am delighted when my baby plays with her food, frolics in mud, or rolls in the grass. There was a time when she acted like her hand was on fire if it came in contact with something messy.
- I always have a plan B and, sometimes, a plan C, D, and E.
- I am more trusting of someone who admits the future is unknown rather than those whom provide false assurances that things will be fine.
- I continue to think that term babies look huge.
- I see much more gray than black and white.
NICU parents, in what ways does your NICU experience linger with you?