There are days that I wake up and wonder, “How did I get here?” and “Is this really my life?” There are several aspects of my life that I previously did not picture for myself. What I find amusing is that the things I once declared I couldn’t, shouldn’t, and wouldn’t do are the very things I love about my life now.
For example, until about a year prior to Charlie’s birth, I had written off kids as something for other people. I was convinced that I was not right for parenting and sure that I could not do it. Furthermore, I was positive special needs parenting was something beyond my capabilities. However, having Charlie is one of the best decisions I have made and will ever make in life. It may have been impossible to picture life with a baby before her but I surely cannot picture life without her now.
Likewise, my friends in high school used to tease me by saying that I would be a soccer mom. Although I did not know what I wanted to be, I vowed there was no way that I was going to be a house wife. Fifteen years later, I am a stay at home mom. When Charlie starts school, I plan on returning to the work force (I am already exploring career options). Even so, I am perfectly content with what I am currently doing. I am proud to say I am a stay at home mom and treasure these years.
Lastly, other people are shocked when I tell them that I joined a moms’ group. I suppose I am the last person anyone (including myself) would expect to join a moms’ group. Whatever the reason, I am pleased that I joined. The other moms in the group are funny, kind, intelligent, and understanding. I fully enjoy their company. They are supportive and encouraging. In turn, I find myself desiring to try new challenges, resurrect old hobbies, and confront issues that with I may otherwise dawdle.
I suppose I had not envisioned this life for me because I was very different when I was younger. I was unable to imagine the possibilities before me. Nevertheless, life has turned out better than I had ever hoped it would be. While it is nice to bewilder others, I find the real delight comes from surprising myself.