Another?

Last night, I nursed a migraine. I listened to a movie as I was lying down in the dark. Similarly to most movies targeted towards my age group, the plot involved pregnancy and babies. My mind tuned in and out to the movie as I rested. Mostly, I thought about the question that many people ask. Will we have another baby?

During the time that Charlie was in the NICU, I had many resources available to help me decide. Strangely enough, it was one of the things my husband and I thought about. I wanted to know if I had to have another c section, what were my chances of developing preeclampsia again, and what was the probability of having a second preemie. I read numerous medical text books, scoured the scientific journals, and  questioned various doctors and nurses in search of  answers.

Using the available information, my husband and I had a series of discussions. Eventually, we reached the conclusion that we are officially off the baby train.

For us, there are several reasons. First, we can not repeat the NICU experience. Second, I do not want to risk Charlie losing her mama. Preeclampsia and HELLP are scary. I am afraid to roll the dice again. Third, I know we were lucky that Charlie survived. I can not take a similar chance. Finally, there is a part of me that feels it would be greedy. All I wanted was for Charlie to live. I got what I wanted. I feel it is greedy for me to ask for more.

Other couples may have differing thoughts and opinions. That is OK. It is a very personal decision for which there really are no wrong answers.

While I listened to the movie, I was reminded of our plans prior to having a micropreemie. We planned to try for a second baby around this time. I wanted Charlie to have a brother or sister. I must admit, part of me is a little sad those plans did not come to fruition. I am comforted by the thought that maybe we were meant for something else. Adoption is a possibility in our future.

As much thought as we have put into our decision, people will frequently argue against it. I have modified my answer to avoid that. Whenever people ask if we are going to have another baby, I simply reply, “We got it right the first time.”

photo2

Advertisements

About Rebecca Wood

In May 2012, my pregnancy ended three and a half months early due to severe early onset preeclampsia. This is my collection of thoughts and media. It is an attempt to document and discuss our experience of navigating the post NICU world. View all posts by Rebecca Wood

3 responses to “Another?

  • A Miracle In the Works

    Your response is so much lovelier than mine: “We are one and done.” 🙂

    I too can’t go through the NICU experience again and I think my marriage wouldn’t handle having another preemie, bed rest in the hospital, etc. While the chances are low, there’s still that 30% chance of another preemie and I just don’t want to take that risk.

    Like

    • woodra01

      For us, the numbers game runs from as low 40% to as high as 70%. You make a really good point about the added stress on a marriage from having a little one in the NICU. In addition, we’d have to juggle caring for Charlie while trying to be with our tiny one in the NICU.

      Plus, I feel like I am exhausted from our extended baby experience. People love reminding me to “Enjoy it now because they grow up fast”. Obviously, they have no clue.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: