When I discovered that I was pregnant with Charlie, my husband I had been trying to have a baby for several months. Each month, I would take a pregnancy test and the results were negative. Around Christmas that year, I herniated another disc (I have a history of extensive spine issues). We were in the midst of planning surgery to correct the issue when I decided it would be prudent to test for pregnancy. We were shocked when the results were positive. The surgery had to be delayed.
I did not think it was possible but things quickly became further complicated. Due to preeclampsia, it was not long before I found myself the mother of a micro preemie. From my admission to the high risk unit and on, I have been so wrapped up in her care that I have not had the chance to revisit a surgery plan. I know that surgery is impending but I continue to procrastinate. I have a few concerns that fall into a similar catagory.
Today was a day where I could not put off one of those things. Charlie was well behaved while the doctor examined me and the lab took samples. Secretly, I think she was glad that she was not the one being poked and prodded. When the doctor returned with my lab results, she started her statement with, “The lab work has shown that you…”. I panicked during that pause. She finished by explaining that she suspects a kidney stone. I breathed a sigh of relief and said, “Is that all? For a moment, I was afraid you were going to say that I was pregnant.” The doctor laughed. Little did she know that it was only recently that my nightmares about being pregnant have ceased.
On the drive home, I decided that it was time that I start addressing the neglected health issues. This afternoon, I made the appointments that have been on my “to do” list for a while. It will take time (maybe even a year) to finish everything. However, I feel like I accomplished something today merely by deciding to get started. My best motivation is the realization that taking care of myself is an important part to taking care of Charlie.