On this day one year ago…

My preeclampsia was discovered. I thought I would have a more difficult time dealing with the date. I really have not thought much about one year ago. It feels like forever ago.

Instead, my mind has been on yesterday’s play date. Charlie has shown interest in kids her age. I met up with a local moms’ group at a park so she could play with some kids around her age. The experience was eye opening to me.

I live in my own microcosm which is comprised of doctors appointments, therapy appointments, NICU parents, and daily life activities. I know there are other people out there. Up until now, I have limited my contact with them. In the eyes of the people we deal with, Charlie is doing extraordinarily well.

Yesterday’s play date was Charlie and my first interaction with “term” parents and kids. I know Charlie is delayed (hence all the therapy). I found it to be difficult to actually see it. The worst part was when Charlie was excited to see the other babies/toddlers but realized she could not play like them. It was the same look of confusion and helplessness that she used to get when she would wiggle and fight to escape the impending Synagis injections.

The other mothers were very nice. Although, I felt like I lived in a different world. It was also very clear to me the difference between a micropreemie mom existence and a term mom existence. The moms group experiment did not work out so well.

I spoke with Charlie’s early intervention therapist and we did some troubleshooting. Charlie and I are going to the next play group and we are going to try again. We will incorporate some of the ideas her therapist suggested. I will be better prepared at seeing mobile kids Charlie’s age. Hopefully, it will go better for us. It is difficult for us to find an appropriate social setting for Charlie. As much as I would like to, we can not live in our own world forever.

I got on this “roller coaster” one year ago today.

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About Rebecca Wood

In May 2012, my pregnancy ended three and a half months early due to severe early onset preeclampsia. This is my collection of thoughts and media. It is an attempt to document and discuss our experience of navigating the post NICU world. View all posts by Rebecca Wood

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