Our Secret Language

We have had a very busy week. It was not for nothing. We obtained a lot of good information on Charlie. As the G.I. Joe cartoons constantly reminded us, “Knowing is half the battle.”

Today, I received the detailed report of Charlie’s work up. There was a mention of CP but the majority of the focus was on sensory issues. Like many preemies, Charlie has many of them.

The doctors this week tried to explain to me about sensory issues and Charlie. I told them that I understood. Up until this point in life, I just thought I was quirky.

When I was little, I used to fight my mom anytime she tried to put lacy dresses or tights on me. Even now, I still cut the tags out of my shirts, I am picky about fabrics, and I avoid tight clothing, even jeans. I used to cover my ears when balloons popped. I still do when I anticipate sudden noises. In my chem labs, I had to have others stuff my test tubes because I can not stand touching cotton. I can only tolerate wearing shoes for a short amount of time and the seems in my socks have to be perfect. I get carsick unless I’m in the front seat. I am clumsy and run into things often. I do not like it when people touch me. I thought it was because I was strange.

I was annoyed with myself because of all this. Now, I realize that it is important in helping me understand Charlie’s world. It is as if we have our own secret language. My job now is helping her to learn to navigate a world that does not speak it.


About Rebecca Wood

In May 2012, my pregnancy ended three and a half months early due to severe early onset preeclampsia. This is my collection of thoughts and media. It is an attempt to document and discuss our experience of navigating the post NICU world. View all posts by Rebecca Wood

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