Patience

Before all this began, I use to claim “Patience is a virtue that I have yet to acquire.” I can only laugh at how trifling and arrogant it was of me. I really had no clue.

Now I have no other choice than to be patient… with life and with others.

When I see term babies, I can’t help but feel a sting. There it is, right in front of me… How things “were supposed to go.” That baby is doing the things my baby is supposed to be doing.

I cringe every time time a stranger comments “Ooooh, look at the LITTLE baby!” It continues to slap me across the face as it did when people use to say it in the NICU. She is huge to me! She has fought so hard for every ounce.

There are those days when my baby cries incessantly. Because she is frustrated with feeding, with her body betraying her, or because she doesn’t want to go to ANOTHER appointment.

With all of these, I have to take a deep breath. I have learned to be patient. (How could I not after being constantly reminded “It’s a marathon, not a sprint” in the NICU.) I try to be patient with my baby as she struggles to catch up, patient with nosy strangers (this one I still struggle with), and patient when my baby has a rough day (she is allowed to have them too). I remember that I would have given anything to complain about these things not too long ago. Despite everything, I know that I am one of the lucky ones. My baby came home from the NICU. The very least I can do is be patient.

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About Rebecca Wood

In May 2012, my pregnancy ended three and a half months early due to severe early onset preeclampsia. This is my collection of thoughts and media. It is an attempt to document and discuss our experience of navigating the post NICU world. View all posts by Rebecca Wood

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